Another Thanksgiving. Another year. Gathering of the clan, festivities, laughter.

What did I know of cooking a turkey?

Yet I adopted the American custom with enthusiasm. A vegetarian and a novice at cooking, I remained undaunted. That first year I had an old TV  which I bought for $45. I was fascinated by Julia Child and watched her  shows on PBS, specially her turkey cooking.

 The McCall magazine in those days had a section every month titled " the bride cooks… "

I took out the page,' The bride cooks Turkey 'and with the visuals from Julia Child and technical help from the magazine I became adept at cooking turkey. For years I invited friends, foreign students and people who had nowhere to go, I set a beautiful table, with Ittala glasses and Arabia porceline. Good friend Faith and Niels were always included, Faith made her mother’s sweet candied potatoes, I made turkey, fancy stuffing a la McCall, my husband made mashed potatoes and later pecan pie. Often there were guests, once the Pathak family came for Holidays and we had turkey.

This tradition stopped because years passed, friends died or moved away. My last Thanksgiving I had invited a Dutch colleague who is a professor of history and a friend who taught Folklore and his Dutch wife. Obviously the Dutch wife had some reservations, she didn’t know what to expect from an Indian hostsess. She came reluctantly, with bad grace and spent the whole evening talking  to my Dutch colleague, totally ignoring me,  the other guests and even her husband. It was obvious that she thought me below her level.  I felt snubbed and insulted.

 No more Thanksgiving at my home.  I began to fly to Boston every Thanksgiving where my husband cooked turkey and made pecan pie. By that time two grandnephews had moved to USA and they both joined us, one flew from Stanford, the other drove from New York.  In a beautiful condo at Harvard campus, Thanksgiving became a small, festive family gathering.  The high point for me was  to go to the Black Friday sale at Filene's Basement. I came home bruised and with unnecessary stuff but it was fun and a ritual.

Two years ago I ordered readymade Thanksgiving dinner for four from Whole Food and we had a very nice, quiet time together. That was my husband’s last Thankgsgiving.

As the big day rolls around I sit alone in dark Wisconsin evening, forgotten  by friends . But I remember all the festivities, parties, laughter this house has seen. I am thankful for it.